it’s not that i’m blue without you
it’s just that i’m less blue, with
you’ve brought me the sea and shown me
it can be easy to forget
that the same things that are happening
have happened once before
that when there’s red beneath the waves
the tides still see the shore
it’s difficult to look at…
“i have so much fucking homework” i whisper to myself while i continue scrolling down my dashboard, hating myself more and more every minute
What if my failure in life is actually the result of the chain mails that I didn’t pass on…
I’ll be okay.
Surely, there are going to be scars on the way there and I’ll be hurt and torn over and over again.
Surely, it’s going to mean blades and pills and dark thoughts and I’ll feel stepped on many times until I have lost any hope I’ve got.
Surely, it’s going to mean many sleepless nights for both me and my parents as I have my panic attacks and they blame me for being weak and spoilt and selfish.
Surely, I’m going to lose my confidence and my future as I try to fight through this battle that I’m going to lose anyway.
But I won’t let you know that. I’ll always tell you that I’ll be okay. It’s not like anyone cares if I wake up tomorrow anyway.
do you ever have imaginary/potential conversations with people in your head but then catch yourself accidentally mouthing the words out or making faces that would go along with your reactions in the conversation
wow it’s nice to know I’m not the only one that’s so alone